Thursday, May 13, 2010

This little piggy stayed home!

This little piggy stayed home!

Can you imagine the embarrassment when you have to tell the gals that you are late for the monthly lunch because of a pig? When I offered the explanation, I’m asked:

"Guinea, or pot bellied?" To which I reply:

"No just pink!"

So the story goes on from there. The daughter’s family, (who has a collection of farm animals) includes a sow which they breed raise and sell. This last batch of piglets numbered ten with a tiny little runt that was born fighting for its life. The granddaughter, who is now an emotional thirteen, is convinced that the little runt must be nourished until it is old enough to fend for itself. We all know that the piglet has no chance but no one wants to say it out loud. This is not the granddaughter’s first try at being a piglet Mom. She was way more upset than any preteen last year when she nursed one of the abandoned piggies only to have it go to the great pig "sty" in the sky! She kept the dead piggie in her closet on a heating pad for several hours before she allowed herself to face the truth. So, being the ever faithful Grandma I arrived at my daughter’s house for my "pig instructions" because I’m going to the "official pig sitter" the next day. I was given proper "cuddling" instructions and bottle-feeding techniques. I was told that the piglet must be fed every hour. As I drove home, I thought to myself that tomorrow, was in fact, going to be a long day.


Bright and early, piglet arrived in a huge cardboard box, complete with bottle and cuddle blanket. The granddaughter hands me the box and says in her sweet angelic way:

"He kind of smells!"

I lived on a farm and raised two daughters, I thought, how bad can it be? With daily chores to do, and the piglet snoring softly in its box I sequester the thing in my craft room. Forty, or so, minutes later I check "piggies" status. I open the door and a wave of "pig" hits me full in the face. For something that small it came with a huge odor. I searched frantically for rubber gloves telling myself there is no way that I’m picking this "pungent piggy" and holding it to my chest while I nurse it. I knell over the box and wrap the blanket around its tiny body all the while hoping that it will not notice that I’m not holding it. It grabs onto the nipple of the bottle and begins to suck. I quickly check the clock. My other daughter is due at 12:00 for lunch. With any luck the chore will be done before she arrives. I urge the piggie to complete his one ounce meal. The worst of my fear happens. I hear the front door open. I quickly set aside the bottle, remove the rubber gloves and the mask that I hoped would keep my own "breakfast" where it belonged. I stash them under me hoping that my secret is safe. The daughter explains that she knew that I had an "outside" of the house lunch date and, therefore, had arrived early. I quickly relinquish the chore and scoot across the floor behind her so that I may retrieve the gloves and the mask and leave the house without her noticing. In honor of my escape I glance at the menu. It was an easy choice ..... A "ham" sandwich of course!


P.S. We regret to inform you that miss piggy passed away at 4:42 A.M., April 29, 2009. The celebration of life was at the local restaurant today where my granddaughter was removed from school for lunch so she could talk it all out of her system. Good Grief! In lieu of services a Hawaiian luau (complete with roast pork) will be celebrated! Poor piggy!

Written by: Pat Chastain
Raising Pigs SuccessfullyRaising Livestock for SmartAsses! - How to Raise Farm Animals for Profit - Learn Everything You Need to Know about Raising Chickens, Raising Pigs, Raising ... (Raising Chickens, Horses, Cattle, and Pigs)Pot Bellies and Other Miniature Pigs (Complete Pet Owner's Manual)

1 comment:

  1. Thanks so much for visiting my blog all the way over in Africa - it's lovely to have found your 2 blogs, aswell !
    Bye for now
    Lynda, Kilimanjaro, East Africa

    ReplyDelete

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